Goodbye For Now
by TheUnofficialMarauders
Summary: Ivy Rose Fortuna has had a long story, and here to tell about love, hardship, and death are Herself, Lily, and Sirius. OneShot. SBOC, LEJP. HBP spoilers alluded to.


Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, except Ivy. All the others are the work of the genius J.K. Rowling herself.So good for her.

Here's to My Last 

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Ivy's POV 

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Hello, my name is Ivy Rose Fortuna. This is a story about my life, my life at Hogwarts, and my life after. More after though. It may be a little confusing, but my whole life was. It'll be an interesting read though, and I'm sure you'll like it.

If I were to look in the mirror and describe myself I would have to say, 'Unique'. That is what most people called me anyway. I had dark brown hair with green highlights. My eyes were such a dark brown they nearly looked black. I often had a smirk on my face. I loved to wear bright colors and mismatched socks. I was my own person, and no one ever said anything about it. My friends liked my unique style and personality. I was a joker and loved to pull pranks. I was crafty and sly, but also brave and loyal. That I guess is how I became known by my friends as "The Unofficial Gryffindor."

You see, I was a Slytherin at school. You ask how could I be? Especially when I was friends with all those Gryffindors? Well it's kind of simple. I was friends with a group of Slytherins. Namely Bellatrix, Severus, Narcissa, and some others, up until third year. At the start of my third year, I sat alone in a train compartment until four Gryffindors walked in. They were Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus. I was cold at first, because I knew they were Gryffindors, but they were cool, and they didn't know what house I was in, till Bella came in and tried to drag me off. Lily had already guessed I was a Slytherin, but she didn't care, and she didn't like the way Bella talked down to me, so she yelled at her a whole bunch. It was kinda funny, a Gryffindor sticking up for me. Well after that, Lily and I were best friends. James and Sirius were slower to forget their animosity to a Slytherin, but eventually they were my greatest friends as well. I was a great troublemaker too, always right there in detention with James and Sirius for something. Even after school we were the best of friends all four of us. It was great and everything was going great.

The problem was it was too perfect. Life never lets you have it good for to long. That would just be too nice, wouldn't it?

Enough about that though.

Our time after school was great. We spent all our time goofing off when we weren't in school to be Aurors. Then things changed. The Order of the Phoenix was forming to fight a rising Voldemort, and of course we joined. However, it wasn't so simple for me. I was a Slytherin, so I was set aside for a special job. I was to pretend to renounce my friends and take up the life of a Death Eater. Let me tell you, being a Death Eater/Order Spy is hard. I nearly went crazy with pressure and fright. I had to keep my mind blank at all times, and I was in constant danger of giving up not only myself, but also my friends and the whole Order.

When Voldemort stares at you though, with those eyes that are so lifeless, so evil, you keep your mind blank. Not to save your own life, but to protect everyone you love and care for. You don't care how hard it is. You just do it.

Another thing that almost always drove me crazy was missing everything. I even had to miss James and Lily's wedding. They told me about it of course, but I missed it. I missed my best friend's wedding. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor, but when Voldemort calls you don't say, "Can you wait till this wedding of one of your enemies is over?"

My other job was teaching Severus Snape to be a double agent. I was to teach him how to clear his mind of all thoughts that would get him killed. Yep, I taught him that. See how that one came back to bite me? Well anyway, I taught him, and believe me it wasn't fun. We weren't exactly pals at school. Let's just say my end of school present made his greasy black hair seem a blessing. Oh well, pink hair isn't that bad, is it? Well, maybe it is…I wouldn't know.

Then, my ray of hope came to me. I was out with Sirius, having dinner like we often did when I had a free night. I almost never had free nights anymore. When dinner was done, he asked me how happy I'd be if I could stop being a double agent. I raised an eyebrow at him asking, "Of course! You of all people should know that. Why do you ask, anyway?" He smiled at me, his melting smile. I could have rolled my eyes at him, but I could tell he was going somewhere with this. "I talked to Dumbledore, and he said if you had a good reason you could stop." Sirius got up from his chair, then knelt beside mine, holding a navy blue ring box. "Do you think this might be enough of a reason?"

Well, enough of that… It seems so long now…A different time, a different life.

I continued on with being a double agent a little longer, because Sirius and I weren't to be married for a few weeks yet. Once we were married, we would hide away for a while, James and Lily sharing the job of secret keeper for us. I was so happy; sometimes I may have been less than emotionless when I should have been. I never gave anything away, not really, but I wasn't always so stony. I don't think that gave me away though. No one really noticed, except Bellatrix.

I knew something was wrong right away. Bella would smile at me, wide smiles, with her heartless eyes glistening as though she had just won a trip to the beauty shop. Not only that, but she was happy too, and it started to frighten me. She also began to speak more with Severus, and that frightened me as well. The two of them had been friendly during school, even if Bella only used him for information. Severus knew everything I did. He was so much of a danger, because most of us could never really trust him.

It all came down to that one night.

One night, the Death Eaters mark on my arm burned red hot, just as it normally did. But as I was about to apparate, the burning stopped. I knew then. I knew that they didn't need me. They only did that when you wouldn't be around much longer. I was frightened, but I didn't run. My wedding was a few weeks off, and I thought maybe, just maybe, I could do it myself. Maybe I could kill Voldemort. I knew it was a risk, but I didn't know what else to do. If I had run, he would have come after me. He would have hurt numerous people to find me. Those people might have been my friends. I just couldn't stand it. All that time being a double agent, missing everything, losing nearly everything I had, I was breaking apart at the seams. I was losing my mind, and half crazy with all the stress. I was nearly ready to die to kill Voldemort. I couldn't bear to think of the sadness my friends or Sirius would feel, because I had to take this chance. I would never be whole again if I didn't.

So I took time and I put my will and essence into a pensieve and hid it away where it wouldn't be found. I hoped it wouldn't come to that, but there was nothing else I could do. Then I sat there, and I waited. Thoughts ran through my head, wondering of what would happen, if I could do it, or if I couldn't.

Then came the crash of a door, flying apart as it splintered into the room. I grabbed my wand, ready to fight, but everything I knew flew out of my head. Voldemort himself looked down at me, his slitted red eyes burrowing into me, burning their look into my mind, as if to remind me even in death, who killed me, and why.

"Avada…" he began,

And all I could do was to scream. It was over, and I had lost. I had lost my mind, and this wasn't going to end with me waking from a dream.

"Kedavra"

The green light engulfed me, and that…that was the last thing I remembered. It was like being drowned, a sound like rushing water going into me, stopping everything in me from working, then leaving again, just as it had come. I could see him turn and walk away. It was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes to the darkness. Or did I even close my eyes? I'm not sure. But I was tired…and I was going on a long trip.

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Sirius's POV 

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I don't know where to begin. It feels like this isn't real. Like someone has played a trick on us, and it'll all be a joke. Oh how I wish it were so. I've had this feeling all morning that something was wrong, it was bothering me. So I went to check on Ivy. I figured if she was fine, I was just over thinking things too much. Anyway I went to the building where her apartment was, and I found the windows blown out, as though there had been an explosion. No one had seemed to notice though. I felt as though my heart had been shattered into a million pieces. I ran up into the building, to see if Ivy was alright, if by any chance she could still be alive. I reached the door, and it was already shattered open, the pieces lying amongst the ruins. As I looked around, the worst thing I could ever see was there right before me. Ivy lay there on the floor, looking as though she slept, but her eyes were open and she looked frightened. I had seen it before, working for the Order, and I knew she was gone. I knew there was nothing I could do, but I yelled. I cursed the name of Dumbledore, and of Voldemort, as though they had planned this together. I couldn't even cry, I was so angry. I knelt by her side silently. I held her hand, which was fisted white-knuckled around something. I opened it gently to see her engagement ring.

"Ivy…I'm so sorry. It should never have been you. I knew it was too dangerous. I knew you could have been hurt or ki…." I couldn't even say it. I took her ring and slipped it back on her finger.

"Nothing is fair is it? You never should have had to do this… It wasn't your burden. Dumbledore should have found another way."

I spoke to her, hoping she could hear me, hoping she knew I was sorry, and hoping that she would forgive me. Tears finally fell from my face, landing one by one on my hand and hers as I sat there. I cried for her…for everything she was put through, for everything that hurt her, and for everything I hadn't been able to do for her.

"I will kill whoever gave you away. I'll kill Voldemort himself. I'll rip him apart, piece by pathetic piece until he begs for mercy. And you know what I'll say to him then? I'll say, 'Did you show mercy to the woman I loved'?" My tears choked my speech after that until I couldn't say anything.

Lily and James showed up soon after that. James stood stone-faced at the door while Lily rushed to my side, tears already forming in her eyes.

"Sirius, she's…?" Lily asked, knowing the answer already.

"You can see for yourself," I said hoarsely. I felt like shouting at her for asking such a stupid question, but I didn't. Lily would be hurt already without me making it worse.

Lily had tears streaming down her face, looking nearly as broken and lost as I felt. I wanted to ask James why he was just standing there, but I couldn't.

"Sirius, I'm sorry." James said at last. He paused for a few moments. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how you feel; I don't know what it's like, not the same way you do. I do know how I would feel if I lost Lily, however." James said quietly.

"But you haven't, have you!" I said, standing, letting Ivy's hand down to the ground first. "You don't know what I'm feeling. Lily's standing right there!" I shouted, emotion filling my voice. I sounded like a different person, but the thoughts were my own.

Lily walked forward and put her arms around me, hugging my shoulders. I was surprised at first, but I could feel her crying, and I couldn't push her away. The death cost me a lot of my mind, I could feel it slipping away, but I couldn't lose my humanity. Not to Lily.

"Sirius, she can't be…SHE CAN'T!" Lily screamed. I returned her hug finally.

"She shouldn't be…It's not fair that she is…but she is. There is no changing that now." My voice sounded dead, hollow. Lily shook with her tears, pulling away from me and going to Ivy. I stood there, frozen with my thoughts.

I could hear Lily crying behind me, and James looking at me with sad eyes in front. I couldn't stand it. This would drive me insane…Or I should say more insane than I currently was. I walked out of the room, not able to take the two of them any longer. I stood in her room. It still looked the same. Messy, in her style, not messed up by something else. It smelled like her, and probably would for a while. I would miss that. I could have made a list then and there of what I'd miss: her smile, her personality, her eyes when they had a look just for me. No, now was not the time for that.

I could see a cabinet open in the corner, a silver light seeping its way out like a mist. Going closer, I could see it was a pensieve. A small note was attached to the door.

"Here's to my last"

"You knew…?" I said quietly, bringing the heavy stone basin up from the cabinet.

"Lily, James, come here!" I yelled back into the other room. Lily came into the room, James following close behind, as though scared to walk about the house.

Lily looked questioningly at the basin with her puffy eyes, reddened from crying. I shrugged in reply. Then I stood with my hands on either side of it and plunged in. Lily followed suit, as did James, and we were falling through a black space until we came to rest in the living room of Ivy's apartment, before it was blown to rubble. Ivy stood there, smiling sadly at us as though she could see us there. I wanted to forget it was a memory, wanted to forget I couldn't reach out and touch her.

"To my best friends," She began, her sad smile spearing me inside.

"If you're seeing this, then I have been killed by Voldemort. This is, I'm sorry to say Sirius, the work of your own dear cousin." I jumped at this, my heart filling with pain.

"Unfortunately, I saw this coming, but there is no use running and if I hide, more will surely die and that would prove my placing in Slytherin, so I have decided to stand my ground. This is my last will and testament, in the form of a pensieve." By this time her eyes were brimming with tears of her own, as though it were really hitting her she wouldn't survive.

"Isn't that clever? You can see me talking to you and telling you what to do from beyond the grave. Anyway, I've inherited a large fortune over the years, and half of that I give to Remus Lupin, to get him through the point where he is between jobs, and the rest for him to dole out to everyone else. As for the things in the house, if they're not totally destroyed, I give to Lily, as I'm sure none of you boys would really care for some of that stuff. However, if she cares to leave a few doxies or anything else behind, feel free to take it, no one else will. This pensieve itself I leave in the possession of Sirius Black. If anyone wishes to reminisce about anything, I've left some more memorable moments inside of there for you all to enjoy, and also to ensure that you won't forget me. I'm sorry, but I have nothing else of value, as I am not able to give anyone my ring. Well, the end is near soon, so I'd like you all to know that I hold all 5 of you in the highest regard. I will no doubt see you eventually." She paused for a moment, as though trying to see if she could say anything else. She must have decided against it because at last she said,

"Goodbye for now, Marauders."

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Lily's POV

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I couldn't help but cry then. When we had gotten out of the pensieve I stood there, tears streaming down my face, crying for Ivy, and for the two guys who wouldn't. James put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me, but I shrugged him away. He knew better than to feel hurt.

Sirius's face had become blank after the part about receiving the pensieve. He was distant and hollow now. I couldn't blame him, but I wished he would cry. He was scary when he was silent. It had never been good when we were kids, and it was worse now. I touched his shoulder lightly and he flinched as though I had hit him with a brick.

"Sirius…" I said quietly, and he turned to look at me. His eyes were dead. Part of him had died with her, and wasn't coming back. I watched him as he walked back to the living room. He began to clean, clearing the area around her body. It was heart wrenching to see.

"She's really gone James. We couldn't do anything…" I said quietly. "I couldn't do anything, you couldn't do anything, Sirius couldn't do anything, and the Order couldn't do anything. Even Dumbledore couldn't do anything!" I said, my voice shaking with a new rage of tears. "What hope is there for us? Voldemort is just going to destroy everything. Even Dumbledore can't do anything." The words dropped like ice, chilling the room and my blood.

I looked at Ivy's room. Her clothes were strewn about, her papers covering her desk. I couldn't help but feel that I had no right to it. I shouldn't have a right to it. It was all Ivy's.

I walked out of the room to see Sirius had cleaned most of the living room. He had moved the splintered wood, accidentally stabbing his hands a few times in the process, his blood showing in a few spots on his hands. All I could do was help him with the rest. This seemed to calm his soul, even if the hurt was still plastered on his face.

We moved her, cleaning dust from her face and brushing back her hair. Then we called the Order to report what we had found. The Ministry came to get her body, and we set a date for the funeral.

The funeral was held the day after. Every Order member attended. Her mother attended as well. I spoke about our days at school, and how she was my best friend. Sirius too spoke, about his love for her, and how he was sorry. He finally cried that day, and James was there for him. They went off and talked for a while, about what I'll never know. When they came back Sirius seemed to have slipped back into silent depression.

After that Sirius holed himself up in Ivy's apartment with the pensieve for a few weeks. He wouldn't talk to anyone, and he would answer the door with a silent stare. I only went to see him once, but James would go daily. He would talk of how Sirius would hardly eat and never said anything, but was thankful for the company.

Sirius went back to normal sometime after, though he was never whole again. If we mentioned Ivy he would become as blank as a sheet of unused parchment. He would act happy for the rest of us, but any time he was alone we knew he was brooding. He kept the pensieve with him.

Nothing was ever the same for us. We tried to move on, and we did in ways. But we would never forget her, we never could.

Her voice echoes through my mind yet, even now.

"Goodbye for now…"

Fin


End file.
